A New Kind of Birth

We stop.

We remember.

An event that seems so strange in the context of our modern world.

Rising from the dead?

God forsaking God on the cross?

The resurrection is so absurd, so far fetched.

Could it be real?

Is it real, to me?

This week I've asked myself: what does the resurrection mean to me?

I've had a hard time answering the question.

Not willing to cop out with my answer - its been a struggle to find the right words.  I may be able to pull one over on someone else,  but I must to be honest with myself.

This morning as I was out for a walk with Amos, 6:30-ish on Easter Sunday morning. The sun was just rising, the spring air - clear, with a sense of newness. Lush gardens beginning to express the colors of spring, and Amos and I - walking.

I worshiped God in that moment, so aware of his presence and love. And my question resurfaced.

What do I think about the resurrection?

I had a heart wrenching thought. The apex of the christian faith, resurrection, new life, the restored humanity, can all be so hard to grasp because I spend so much time denying it.

This day. This Easter Sunday morning, its so easy to affirm the Life of Christ and his resurrection with our lips.

But what about tomorrow?

When I walk past the needy man.

When I choose anger, over gentleness.

Rash judgment over patience.

When I choose despair over my circumstances instead of hope.

Do I really affirm the Resurrected life of Christ?

Its hard to say yes.

But - if I confess that I do indeed deny the resurrection of Christ. I must also proclaim that I affirm it!

The Gift of God, through Christ, his Holy Spirit, connects with me on occasion.


I hear someone.

I see someone.

I forget myself, and serve.

Its true.

I affirm.

I deny.

I am a sinner.

I am a saint.

There was a man named Nicodemus who approached Jesus under the cloak of night. Nicodemus offers a compliment to Jesus. And Jesus responds with a statement about the life renewed. "Unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3)

Born again?

I watched a birth this week - the birth process is still very fresh in my mind.

While the birth lasted but an instant, there were 41 weeks of pregnancy leading up the moment of new life. We welcomed our daughter Hattie Nell into this world on Palm Sunday at 7:28 am.

And I agree with Nicodemus' response to Jesus: "What do you mean? How can a man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?"

Let me tell you, I know for a fact that is impossible.

My 6 lb 15 oz daughter was a 'just fit'.

Jesus answers him, "Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life"

Birth.

Birth follows a season of pregnancy.

Heavy laden.

Expectant.

Stretching.

Pain.

And then. Just as the day is new. Just as the tomb is rolled away. Just as the songs of the bird awakes the morning.

Birth.

New Life.

Joy.

Peace.

For me, the language of affirming the resurrection of Christ hasn't come easy. Its been sort of like a pregnancy.

I think Jesus knew this. Thats why he used this language of birth.

Affirmation. Denial. Expectancy. Pain. Joy. Hope. Surprise. Sorrow. Celebration.

But always - life.


Flesh.

Blood. 

Life.

A Lenten Snow-Day

Its been so long since we've stepped off the hamster wheel of parent-to-be-preparations and studying and all the other hullabaloo that demands our attention. I thank this morning's snowfall. Even if I was tempted to get out there and take care of business as usual the snow has convinced me to stay inside with my Sweet Lily and faithful hound.

This season of Lent has summonsed me more than years prior. I'm not sure if that is because of our impending family addition, my exhaustion from carrying a heavy load or something else - but no matter the reason I'm grateful to have stopped to contemplate the words of Karl Barth as part of our Lenten readings. These words have brought beautiful thoughts about grace to light. I love this: "When we speak of grace, we think of the fact that [God's] favorable inclination towards the creature does not allow itself to be soured and frustrated by the resistance of the latter."

So we stopped and just rested in this grace we had forgotten. Forgotten because of our distractions, or obligations, or any number of reasons. But with Butta' Bean on the way fewer distractions are better :)

Speaking of Butta' Bean - I think we're all set (laughing hysterically on the inside). Hospital bag is packed, the car seat is installed (thanks Justin!), the dresser is assembled (thanks to all those years of practicing with Lego's and Ikea), the clothes are all washed (thank you Robin) and we have been offered so much support, and prayers, and blessings by so many - Thank you!

Now we are just waiting for Butta' Bean to make his or her debut. Exciting! We went to Target last night to pick up a point and shoot camera so sharing photos and video will be easy. Since family is spread all over the country we felt this to be a necessary purchase. After spending too long at the Target electronics counter I second guessed myself and bought a camera that once I got home and used I didn't like. So, its going back and another one from Amazon will be on it's way.

Here's a few pics of us from our snowed in morning. Robin is almost 39 weeks here - so beautiful!

And of course a few of Amos...

Yours Truly :)